His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize