i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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