Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
