I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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