he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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