therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
