They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
