I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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