So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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