Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
