I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
