So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
