Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
