I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
