she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
