i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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