So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
