Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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