my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
