we have pet lesbian snakes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
