At least make sure they are 18
Why
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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