It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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