Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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