i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
