Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
