Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
