i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
