Christians are straight up FREAKS
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
