I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
