It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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