I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
