you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
