no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
