But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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