im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
