I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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