It's Friday. Sex?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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