i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
