hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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