Swine flu is the new snow day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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