i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
