my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
