I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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