god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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