non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
