Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
