I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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