dude i'm inner monologue high
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
