eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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