You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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