all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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