I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
