It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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