Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize