This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.