Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (875) Bad night (3927)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left

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  (772): she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left http://tfl.nu/4rhs
  Replies (20) Good night (1056) Bad night (8004)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform

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  (870): You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform http://tfl.nu/z93z
  Replies (7) Good night (4666) Bad night (948)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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  (254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2
  Replies (35) Good night (7303) Bad night (1544)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings

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  (414): saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings http://tfl.nu/clzp
  Replies (13) Good night (3033) Bad night (4896)
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  (510): View more from California

  Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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  (510): Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight. http://tfl.nu/a7yq
  Replies (24) Good night (5302) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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  (574): Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive http://tfl.nu/wu3i
  Replies (8) Good night (986) Bad night (3045)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You were.

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  (203): I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night. (1-203): You were. http://tfl.nu/s399
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (2758)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

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  (515): Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women. http://tfl.nu/axeg
  Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front

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  (770): It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front http://tfl.nu/bbjx
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.

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  (609): He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/dd1c
  Replies (9) Good night (397) Bad night (995)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.

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  (774): In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/mh8s
  Replies (7) Good night (898) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet

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  (209): you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet http://tfl.nu/19zl
  Replies (6) Good night (406) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck

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  (812): dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck http://tfl.nu/q60e
  Replies (9) Good night (388) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"

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  (775): I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!" http://tfl.nu/w4fg
  Replies (0) Good night (920) Bad night (276)

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