I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail