If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man