Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

  (310): View more from California

  Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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  (310): Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them. (310): Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light. http://tfl.nu/t4oe
  Replies (12) Good night (3181) Bad night (549)
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  (858): View more from California

  Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

  (858): View more from California

  i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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  (858): Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions. (858): i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents http://tfl.nu/ut40
  Replies (19) Good night (698) Bad night (2415)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (1919)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

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  (630): I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about... http://tfl.nu/mp2d
  Replies (7) Good night (590) Bad night (2913)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

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  (423): Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis. http://tfl.nu/t2k7
  Replies (14) Good night (1119) Bad night (4852)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked

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  (812): I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked http://tfl.nu/576t
  Replies (31) Good night (842) Bad night (9878)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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  (814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11
  Replies (16) Good night (6854) Bad night (2267)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

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  (307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk
  Replies (1) Good night (1190) Bad night (2433)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it

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  (215): at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it http://tfl.nu/asrx
  Replies (8) Good night (1760) Bad night (1581)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..

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  (609): I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex.. http://tfl.nu/qolf
  Replies (5) Good night (1550) Bad night (718)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.

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  (484): siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape. http://tfl.nu/kj0n
  Replies (3) Good night (1556) Bad night (541)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.

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  (480): Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous. http://tfl.nu/druq
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (535)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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  (407): Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks. http://tfl.nu/yvne
  Replies (6) Good night (1640) Bad night (320)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

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  (641): Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1kf9
  Replies (12) Good night (1371) Bad night (354)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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  (225): Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it http://tfl.nu/edch
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (219)

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