It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...