If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
