can u get pink eye on your cock?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
