wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
