I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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