He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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