so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
