i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
