Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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