I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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