idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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