just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
