Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize